It’s a fusion of Alan Partridge and Gwyneth Paltrow! The transformation of Gregg Wallace into the ultimate lifestyle guru.
MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace has generously shared his typical Saturday schedule with a grateful nation. Published in the Telegraph, it’s the wildest thing you’ll read all week.
What is the highlight? Is it the fact that Gregg enjoys his daily breakfast at the Harvester near his house and claims to have never been let down? Unlike these highly praised Michelin-starred restaurants or bothersome small businesses. Is it when he explicitly states that he did not want his youngest child, but only gave in so his fourth wife, Anne-Marie Sterpini, would continue making his favorite white bean soup? Or is it that he devotes more time to playing Total War Saga: Thrones of Britannia in his home office than he does with his autistic son?
Could it possibly be the smaller, less significant aspects that captured your attention? Maybe the fact that he wakes up at 5am just to check the enrollment numbers for his health program? Or that he makes the staff at his gym open early so he can have it all to himself, similar to Elizabeth Taylor’s visits to Harrods? And he casually mentions his body fat percentage being below 18% and having a six-pack. Because that’s totally what every average 59-year-old man talks about.
Could it be the short 90-minute period between his breakfast and lunch? Is it because this experienced food enthusiast only cooks once a week for his family and seems to believe he is doing them a favor? Is it because he presents himself as a wellness authority, claiming to have been practicing journaling, manifesting, goal-setting, and reading self-help books for many years? Or is it because this self-proclaimed spiritual leader is unable to unwind in the evening like the common folk? “I’ve attempted to relax on the couch with some cookies, but I don’t find it satisfying,” he admits. Thanks for belittling my favorite pastime, Gregg.
Honestly, it’s the present that keeps on providing. Seldom has there been so much to unravel in only 557 words. It has been spreading rapidly since the weekend, overshadowing the Buttery Biscuit Bass meme, and often compared to Alan Partridge. The Accidental Partridge account – sharing accidental quotes from Alan since 2013 – shared it again, giving Gregg’s ramblings the semi-official stamp of approval. The only thing it lacks is a set of mesh-backed driving gloves.
This is a prime example of the style of Partridge. The receptionist at Harvester most likely jokes, “Have you got your large plate, Gregg?” as he “uses the sausage as a barrier”. What makes this even more ridiculous is that this was not written by comedian Steve Coogan, but rather said by Gregg Wallace himself and recorded by a journalist. He may have even shouted it. It appears that he sees this behavior as acceptable, or perhaps endearingly eccentric.
Wallace has been a divisive figure, often compared to Marmite. He was initially hired as an “ingredients expert” (meaning he was essentially a fancy grocer) for the MasterChef role. He has worked alongside John Torode, a professional chef whom Wallace considers his close friend, despite Torode once revealing that they have never visited each other’s homes. Over the course of almost two decades, Wallace has become known for enthusiastically praising “big flavors” and making exaggerated facial expressions while sampling desserts. His “judging” style consists of essentially shouting out the ingredients of a dish in a loud and animated manner, similar to someone yelling their grocery list in a crowded parking lot.
In 2013, a Twitter user requested a retweet from Greg for their charity bike ride for Macmillan Cancer Support. However, instead of agreeing, Greg corrected the spelling of his name. The cyclist responded with understanding, reminding Greg to focus on more important matters. This incident was later referred to as “G-gate.”
Surprisingly, Gregg with a double G is still enjoying a successful television career. He is a regular presence on our screens, thanks to his appearances on multiple MasterChef spin-offs. He also hosts travel shows on Channel 5 where he often showcases his trademark yelling at people from other countries. Additionally, he is known for his enthusiastic shouting at factory workers in the Inside the Factory series, often resulting in his hairnet flying off.
The TV executives view the person from south London as a refreshing addition to the elitist world of cooking shows. However, when this person appears on reality TV, they do not have much success. They were the first to be voted off of the BBC singing competition Just the Two of Us and also the first to be voted off of the BBC ballroom competition Strictly Come Dancing. Some may question if Gregg Wallace MBE is truly a beloved figure in the country.
The individual lacks self-awareness and has a very tough exterior, similar to that of his journal for manifestation. Currently, Greggster likely believes his interview has become popular due to its inspirational lifestyle content. Recently, he started his own podcast focused on “health and wellbeing” – as if the world needs one more – and has been promoting it by talking about “becoming the best version of oneself” and “operating in the wellness industry”. It’s reminiscent of Peckham Paltrow.
Gregg the Healthy Hard-Boiled Egg isn’t just operating in the wellness space. He’s single-handedly owning it, one Harvester full English at a time. As the MasterChef catchphrase goes, cooking doesn’t get tougher than this. Daily regimes don’t get more bananas than this either. Altogether now: a-haaaa!