Review of MasterChef: Battle of the Critics – The participants become extremely stressed, causing concern that they may require oxygen.
Dent sped through the swing doors in a luxurious jumpsuit, holding a dessert. I’m uncertain about the timing. Did this occur before or after her departure from I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! in order to heal from the distress of encountering Nigel Farage’s political views and backside in the camp shower?
“According to Dent, the dessert is chocolate cement with a pink English cream,” she informs the diners. “Excuse me, what?” one of them asks. “No, not literal cement made of chocolate; she’s referring to brownies served with pink custard,” clarifies another diner. “Who wouldn’t enjoy pink custard?” remarks a diner. However, I personally do not prefer it. I prefer my custard like I prefer my men – traditional and drizzled over a rhubarb crumble.
However, these are not your average restaurant customers. They are previous winners of MasterChef who have been tasked with determining which of five renowned food critics turned chefs will receive the underwhelming prize of a knife and fork. As Jay Rayner puts it, this trophy would only be worth displaying in the downstairs bathroom or selling on eBay.
The co-host, Gregg Wallace, introduces the theme of this special. “They may be able to criticize, but can they actually cook?” Will we need a scriptwriter for this? A lot of time is spent on these supposed clever sayings. It’s like a mediocre restaurant that keeps serving bread while the main dishes are being poorly prepared behind the scenes – it’s more of a distraction than anything exciting.
“Only five more minutes until I can finally take off my bra,” Dent remarks as she disappears into the kitchen through the swing doors.
Viewers may experience stomach discomfort from watching food-related television shows. The potential risks are too much to handle. In “The Bear,” the head chef gets stuck in the walk-in fridge, leaving his assistants to cook the meals. In “Boiling Point,” chef Stephen Graham has a heart attack during service. “Come Dine With Me” episodes can make “The Wicker Man” seem like a children’s show. And let’s not forget Ralph Fiennes attempting to harm his customers in “The Menu.”
The message conveyed by movies and television is that kitchens are often the site of accidents, such as burning your hand or injuring a finger. In this scenario, three out of five contestants appear to be extremely stressed, to the point of needing an oxygen tent. There is also concern about whether the garlic and dill butter in William Sitwell’s chicken kiev will spill, if Rayner’s glasses will slip down his nose while trying the Sardinian fregula, and if Jimi Famurewa’s jollof rice will make his mother (and by association, all of Nigeria) proud.
Viewers are compensated by experiencing large amounts of schadenfreude. Sitwell states, “I am physically placing a rake on the ground, anticipating it to hit me in the face.” However, this is not actually the case. He means figuratively.
Leyla Kazim is overwhelmed with excitement as Wallace and John Torode give high praise to her magarina bulli, a pasta dish from northern Cyprus made with grated halloumi. Torode enthusiastically exclaims, “The dried mint is amazing!” while Wallace adds, “That dish is outstanding,” proving that those who criticize critics do not necessarily make good critics themselves.
Kazim gasps, “It’s as if…” as the piano begins to play somber arpeggios that are expected. “It’s a part of my ancestry…the fact that they both discovered it…woooh!…I sense that the rush of adrenaline and emotion has drained from my body…I am now just an empty shell.” This is reminiscent of Gwyneth Paltrow’s second Oscar acceptance speech.
The crying does not stop there. Sitwell, who appears to be a sensible combination of Patrick Vallance and Chris Whitty, becomes emotional as he prepares his rabbit main dish. I am unsure as to why. Perhaps it is because he specializes in creating edible spheres filled with liquid. As expected, his chicken kiev leaked. But would his self-saucing chocolate pudding also leak in a positive way? He serves the spheres to the guests and then steps back, unsure if a delicious chocolate sauce will ooze out when cut open or if chunky brown goop will ruin his success. The tension is palpable! I cannot bear to watch!
The main message of the show is that Brendan Behan’s statement is incorrect. The Irish writer believed that critics are comparable to eunuchs, possessing knowledge but lacking the ability to put it into practice. However, all five of the critics featured in the show are capable of doing so, despite their differing opinions. This is in contrast to TV critics, as I personally do not have the skills to create a successful television program.